A LETTER FOR HER!
1) A TRUTHLESS TRUTH
2) Affection and Altruism
3) Beware!!
4) BURNING HEARTS
5) Love Means…
6) ONE FATHER, ONE DAUGHTER
7) Self-esteem
8) Sir, I love you
9) A letter for her
10 Spider
11 Burden (Summai)
12 Whose Child
13 Gloriosa Superba
14 911
15 Harambi
16 Hibernation
kuru Aravinthan
It was Valentine’s Day.
It was a day to exchange the feelings of one’s heart. Suresh was waiting for this day. He decided to give the Valentine’s Day card to her. He remembered what his friends told him yesterday. “Buddy, don’t delay this any further. Each day you delay, there will be somebody else to snatch her. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Don’t lose this opportunity. Just open your heart to her.”
They stand first in all the college competitions. They had received several prizes for the college through inter-college competitions. Whenever they win, they congratulate each other. He liked her sportiveness very much. Maybe that’s what attracted him to her.
He wanted to open his heart to her. But he could not say it directly. He carved his feelings on the card. “I really like you very much. If you like me, just give back a smile. I shall wait for you with all my heart! -- Suresh.”
The next morning, Suresh managed to deliver the card. Then he anxiausly waited for her reply in the classroom.
She came in. Will a star from the sky visit the earth? Yes, her name was Arundati[.1]. She went to her table, kept her books and looked at him. He was looking at her face with a lot of enthusiasm. His face was filled with love. She could not keep him waiting any longer and so she gave back a smile.
He felt as if he was melting at her smile. He could not believe his eyes. Is this true? Am I seeing the star Arundati without stepping over the sacred black stone[.2]? He was dreaming for a second but later turned towards her. She was just looking at him without winking her eyes. It was as if a lightning had struck the eyes.
He could not sleep the whole night. Her face was always flashing in front of his eyes. Her smile was recorded in his heart. What is the nature of her attraction? Is it her long hair? Is it her beautiful long nose? Is it her arrow eyes? Is it her dignified gait? He kept wondering.
Next day he spent a lot of time in front of the mirror, before he left for college. His hair was a bit disturbed. He put some hair gel to dress properly. He wore a blue jean and a shirt to go match it. His attire itself gave him some self-confidence.
He was waiting for her at the college entrance early next morning. Arundati who came along with her friend didn’t care to look at him. He felt bad, as she didn’t even give him a glance. He got angry with her friend with whom she walked. When they were entering the classroom, he looked at her courageously. Her face felt grieved. When the class was going on, the peon came and asked Suresh to come to the Principal’s office. He thought something serious was going to happen. When he entered the Principal’s office, Principal looked unhappy. The principal had the Valentine card that he had given Arundati.
“What is all this?” he asked annoyed.
Suresh started sweating. His heart was pounding fast. She trapped me by smiling back at me. If she is not interested in me, she could have told it directly. He felt like a hero this moment, but now he was totally collapsed.
“Why are you holding your head down? You do realize what you did was wrong?”
“What is wrong in liking a girl? Is it wrong to say how I feel about someone?”
He roared inside himself. His love for her made him talk. He was ready to face anything.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asked boldly.
“You come to college to study. Not to love. You have earned a good name in this college by winning many competitions. Don’t ruin your image by these actions.”
“I know. But why are you linking this with my studies?”
“I don’t like all this during college”, the Principal said.
“Then when should all this be done if not in college?”
“You are talking too much. Look, if she also likes you, try to study well and get a job. Then you can come and ask her hand in marriage. I shall give. Not now. I am not telling you this as a Principal but as Arundati’s father.”
When he came out of the Principal’s office, he was disappointed with Arundati. He caught her as she was heading home. She was a little hesitant as she looked at him. Her face shrunk. She felt guilty for her action.
“If you didn’t like me, you could have given the card back to me? Why did you go to such an extent?”
She didn’t speak a word. She was circling the sand with her feet.
“You are not a small girl. You can decide what is wrong and what is right. I don’t find anything wrong in a man liking a woman. I didn’t behave improperly towards you. Then why did you take this matter to the Principal? Why are you silent? Do you realize what you did was wrong? If you had said that you don’ t like me, I would have gone my way.”
“Did I say that I didn’t like you?” she asked, with her eyes filled with tears.
He felt confused for a moment.
“Arundati, what are you talking?” he asked with all curiosity.
“I understand your anger. I just told my mother that somebody likes me. But my mother told my father about this lacking all the patience. I am so sorry. I didn’t expect this to happen. Did he scold you?”
“Yes”, he said nodding his head.
“What did he say?” she asked softly.
“Study well and then come and ask my daughter’s hand in marriage. Then I shall give my daughter to you, he said.”
“So, was he wrong in asking you for that?”
“Is he having a Swayamwara [.3] for his daughter?”
“He said so for our own good.”
When she said “our” he was touched. He was sure that she also loves him.
“I just want you, Arundati. I am ready to undergo any trouble for you.”
She looked at him with her eyebrows raised implying “will you?” He looked at himself in those wide-opened eyes. What he dreamt about his future wife to be was standing right in front of his eyes.
“I’ll surely study well and become a great engineer. Will you wait for me?”
“Yes, for sure.” She gave her hand in promise into his hands.
“Is that all...?”, he said holding her hand gently.
“What else do you need?” she asked with her glazing eyes.
“To mark this precious moment, I will accept whatever you give.”
“Should I say, I love you?” she asked slowly moving towards his ears.
“H….m, I just thought about it.”
She felt very shy, but she looked on either side and gave a sudden kiss on his hands and ran with embarrassment and her heart ready to wait for him.
2
Kuru Aravinthan
The phone was ringing. Nowadays, the telephone seems to be working endlessly. The past few days, somebody or the other call to convey their condolences. Professor Sivaraman gets up to answer these phone calls without any interest.
Who can it be? What news is it going to be?
The telephone rang the same way the other day. The death of his son in an accident was reported to him over the telephone. He hasn’t gotten over the incident yet. His relatives had come to mourn the death of his son. Some spoke over the phone. He could not take his sons demise any more. He felt like, it was all a bad dream.
“Hello!” a voice called from the other end.
“May I speak to Professor Sivaraman?”
“Speaking.”
“Sir, it’s me Ramesh.”
“Ramesh? Which Ramesh?”
“I was your student. Don’t you remember me?”
“When...?”
“I was in the cricket team too.”
“Yes, I remember now. Fast bowler Ramesh, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Sir. The son of the station master.”
“Now I remember. Sivashankar’s son, isn’t it?”
“Yes sir. It is the same Ramesh. I heard about the sad incident. That is the reason I called. Your son Suresh was my classmate. He was a really a nice boy. He shouldn’t have faced such a tragic death. Who can win destiny? Please accept my hearty condolences.
“What can we do? Whom can we blame? Everything was over in a second.”
“I am sorry. This is one of the irreparable incidents.”
“He is gone anyway. What is the use of talking about him now? Okay, how are you and what are you doing?”
“I am fine, Sir. I am working as a computer engineer for a big company.”
“Are you married?”
“No, Sir. I have a problem with that.”
“Problem. Are you in love? Don’t your parents like the girl?”
“No, Sir. It is an arranged marriage[.4]. I have seen the girl and we are compatible. Everybody like her in my house.”
“Then what is the delay? Don’t you also like the girl?”
“I like her, Sir. She is fair, beautiful and suitable to my personality.”
“Then why the delay? Proceed with the marriage.”
“That is where I have a small problem.”
“What problem?”
“You are in great grief already. How can I talk about this now?”
“It’s okay. Let it out. Who is the girl? Do I know her?”
“Yes, you know her very well. I don’t want to beat around the bush. The girl was to be your daughter-in-law.”
“What, is it the girl we had seen for Suresh? Is it Sumathi? Are you going to marry that girl?”
“Yes, Sir. That’s why I wanted to talk to you about her. I wanted to get your opinion and before saying ‘yes’ to her parents.”
“She is a very nice girl. She is also from a good family, well-mannered and suitable for a family-oriented life. What can I do? I could not have her as my daughter-in-law.” He sighed briefly.
“She was to light the lamp at my home. We had many dreams about her. But everything is over.” He was about to cry literally.
“Ya, you said about a problem. Is it the horoscope [.5]etc., that is wrong?”
“Can you tell something personally about her? How is she to mingle with?”
“She is very forward and brave. She doesn’t hide anything in her heart. She is very frank.”
“Does she come to your house often?”
“Yes, she comes. The engagement was over, and a date was fixed for their marriage too. We all went to the temple on New Year’s Day. Then, she came to our house, lit the lamp[.6], boiled milk and served coffee. She also came for Suresh’s birthday party. Not even two months…everything is just ruined like a dream.”
“So, she visited to your house often.” Ramesh asked with all curiosity.
“No, no, she just visited me here thrice. But she mixed with us as if she knew all of us for thirty years.”
“Leave the way she socialized with you, sir. How did she mingle with your son? Was she very close to him? Did both of them go on dates?”
He suddenly realized what Ramesh was getting at.
Ramesh wanted to ask if they had slept together.
Oh, God. He thought to himself. He is such a suspicious person. If Ramesh is like this before marriage, how will he treat her after marriage?”
Poor Sumathi. Should she marry such a crook?
No. That wonderful girl can get herself a much better man.
“I understand what you are asking, Ramesh. The answer is ‘Yes’, is that enough?”
Then Professor Sivaraman slammed the receiver down.
3
Kuru Aravinthan
She came running and got into the train. Unable to place the heavy suitcase in its place, she felt out of breath. “Excuse me…please could you help me?” she said to the person browsing the newspaper.
The gentlemen lifted his head up to look at her.
She was shocked for a moment. She never thought that she would meet Sri Ram again. Her eyes were filled with tears. Her head started to ache slightly.
She became nostalgic and thought how she had been waiting for his reply, dreaming about her wonderful future, but did not get any response. Why was he silent?
He helped her out with the suitcase and asked her “Are you traveling alone?”
She said, “Yes” and kept quiet. She said after a while, “I have a teacher’s conference for five days and that’s where I am going.”
“Oh, really, that’s where I am going too”, and then he paused for a moment and said,” Can I ask you something personal?”
She looked at him with little bourldment in her eyes.
“Do I have an invitation for your wedding?”
She was taken back both by shock and surprise. “What is he talking about? Is he trying to patch up after hurting me? Or is he having fun breaking a girl’s heart? After all, why is he so happy in my suffering?”
He did not wait for her reply but continued…
“After I saw you for the first time, I could not set my heart on any other girl. The day I saw you, I thought you were the prefect one for me. I’ve already lived with you in my dreams. But I could not take it after getting “No” as a reply.”
After he finished, both of them broke into silence. Then she started to speak…
“You are asking me if you have an invitation for my wedding. Good. I am not angry with you at all. But many men who didn’t want to marry me gave me a reason or an explanation. But you gave me no reason. You broke my heart. Why did you hurt me like this?” tears overtook her.
“Why are you trying to say? You said you liked someone else and that you wanted to marry him. That’s what you wrote in the letter.”
“Letter, what kind of letter? Did I write a letter?”
He was surprised to see her innocence. He said, “You stated that did not want anyone to know. Having known that you are not interested in marrying, what decision can I make?”
He opened his briefcase and gave her the letter. She could not believe it. Somebody had spun a plot and faked her handwriting too.
“No, this is not my handwriting” she said firmly.
She related that she was reacting too fast. Her face turned red as he looked at her. She was just thinking about the letter and was looking outside the window. The scenery outside had trees passing one after the other.
The train arrived at the destined station eventually.
Both of them got off silently. It was as if something heavy had lifted from their heart. “We will meet soon”, they exchanged words as they were departing.
Two weeks later, Sri Ram’s parents came on a visit to Seetha’s place.
“We came to know that our son likes your daughter and he wants to get married to her.”
“What are you talking? I cannot understand”, said Seetha’s father.
“Yes, our son wanted us to come and speak to you regarding the marriage.”
“Is that true?” asked the father.
“Do not worry. Our son does not expect a very lavish wedding or anything. You can perform it the way you like it.”
“I need to confirm this with my daughter”. He went inside to ask her.
“Did you call me, father?”
“This boy likes you very much and he wishes to marry you. What is your opinion?”
“What about you, dad? What do you think?”
“Shall we start making arrangements for the wedding?”
“Did I ask you for the wedding?”
“What are you trying to say, my child?” I am totally confused.
“No, father. I am not interested in this wedding. I do not want to marry at all”, she said and went inside.
The visitors went home unhappy.
“Why did you do this when everything was going on just fine, my daughter?”
“For so long, you have nurtured us undergoing all kinds of trouble without our mother. Now, this whole family is dependent upon me. I cannot leave my brother who is still at college and my sister who is still small for the sake of my happiness. I want to share the responsibilities along with you, father. I want my brother to finish college and to start earning a living. I want to be here until then and that’s why I said no.”
His daughter’s affection and altruism brought tears to the father’s eyes. He held her hands and cried out loud. She consoled him and went in to see the letter. This handwriting…
‘Father, did you do this? Did you think that this family that is dependent on me would come to roads if I had got married? I can control my emotions. But this family cannot tolerate hunger and poverty. I will get married only when this family becomes financially independent. Don’t fear, father.”
She wiped her tears away and tore the letter into pieces. She felt relieved and complacent.
4
Kuru Aravinthan
With all the winning glory, Pratap swings his towel towards his fans after the game. Young girls ran towards the swinging towel to pick it up. Meanwhile, Pratap tries to approach them leaving the tennis court. His youthful enthusiasm and his manly arrogance were seen in his gait. Coming closer to his fans, he signed all their autographs. His broad chest, wide shoulders and his charming face could attract any young woman.
Jasmine was waiting for him to come closer to her. She was dressed well. She wanted an autograph from him. He took her autograph book and started browsing through.
“Your name please?”
“Jasmine” she said in a sweet voice.
He said, “Sweet name … I like it” looking deeply into her eyes. She blushed as he stared at her. She pretended to look away else. Her silence made him want to talk to her more.
“Jasmine’, a white flower with a pleasant fragrance, isn’t it? I like that flower.”
“Only the flower” Jasmine said with a low voice.
He signed his autograph and returned it to her.
“Your game was excellent today.”
“Thank you, Jasmine, … Do you come here daily?”
“Yes, I love your game. I never miss any game of yours.”
“That means you are a great fan of mine, isn’t it? Yes…
Did you come alone?”
“Yes” she said.
“How are you going home?”
“By bus.” She replied.
“Can I give you a lift...?”
“No, thank you. I don’t want to trouble you.”
“There is no trouble. Can’t I even do this small favor to a ardent fan?”
She was very elated to drive with him in his car. She felt that all the girls around her were burning with envy. The car drove into a five-star hotel and he said,
“I am going to stay in this hotel until the tournament is over. If you don’t mind, shall I go to my room and change my outfit?”
She said It was okay.
He parked the car outside. “How long are you going to stay in the car? Come on, let’s go to my room.”
She got down from the car and walked with him.
Opening the room, he called room service and ordered for two ice creams.
As he came out after having a shower with a bath towel around, she had started tasting the ice cream. He came closer to her and said, “A spoonful for me, please.”
“No, this is what I already started to have,” said Jasmine.
“That’s okay…” he said and forced her spoon into his mouth.
“How sweet!” he said and started to feel a little uncomfortable.
She thought that she should have waited in the car itself. She was very shy, and she started to continue with her ice cream. As the ice cream melted and rolled over her lips, he suddenly held her cheeks and licked the ice cream off her lips. Not expecting such a move, she wanted to free herself from him.
“Leave me …Beware…Don’t touch me, please!”
“I want this,” he said kissing her lips.
“Wait…I have to talk to you!”
“Sure, but later. These lips are not for talking but for tasting!” He didn’t care for her feelings but tried to embrace her. Entrapped in his manly lust, she could not fight against him but surrendered herself to him.
When he woke up after everything, she was in tears. She thought he would feel guilty after the incident. But his attitude said ‘Oh, how many women have I enjoyed like this?’
He came closer to her and put his arms around her shoulders. She suddenly moved away from him.
“I want to meet you again”, he said lecherously.
“Do you want to meet me for sure again?”
“Yes, if you give me your address, I shall come and see you in your home.”
She gave him the address. He was stunned to hear the address.
“That place is where I was born.”
“Alas, you remember your place. Do you remember a girl called Malarvizhi who was living next door?”
He thought about it for some time.
“Oh, are you that girl?”
“Yes, the same girl.”
Are you wondering how a country girl called Malar has transformed into Jasmine? I was waiting for you for twelve years. You deceived me when I was young, alluring me with your sweet chatter. When I asked for justice, you ran away from the city. I searched everywhere for you in vain. But I was living with the only hope to meet you someday. Last month, I came to know from a local newspaper that you were coming home for a tennis tournament from America. I came all the way because I was desperate to meet you. Finally, you were trapped by me today!”
“Ha, Ha, who got trapped by whom?” He was just laughing at her.
“I heard that girls who are crazy about tennis come after you just to get cheated. Please reform yourself now… and do not break any young girl’s heart. I just came to warn you.”
“What do you want from me now? Are you trying to blackmail me? Are you in need of money?”
She laughed to herself when she saw him a bit disturbed.
“What is the purpose of fame, name and money? How long will these materialistic things can last?”
“Why, can’t I achieve anything with money?”
“That’s how I was thinking too. But a few years back, I had a car accident and was seriously injured. I lost a lot of blood. Somebody donated blood and I was saved. Later, I came to know that the blood was infected with AIDS virus. That is the reason I said, “Beware and do not touch me”. But you never allowed me to talk. You said you could buy anything with money. Can you buy yourself a cure for AIDS with all that money?”
Being shocked at what she said, he almost collapsed on the floor. Is she left the room in tears, for the first time he felt scared for his life?
5
Kuru Aravinthan
When Suren was going to the pharmacy store, it was extremely cold and raining heavily. He didn’t know if he was shivering due to the cold or due to the distress feeling about the future. He was thinking that if the doctor allowed Suba and the baby to go home, he might want to take a taxi.
Although it was warm inside the bus, he felt was cold. He was quite confused for the last two days but somehow managed visit the hospital.
He didn’t understand why his mother was behaving in such an odd way since the day the child was born. It’s only been one year since his mother came. He knows that his mother didn’t like his wedding and also the relatives. If it is public gossip, people gave free advice. If we don’t get along, they ill-treat us; but if going along well, they try to cause trouble. He hated the relatives who pinpoint about his family to his mother.
Suba didn’t say anything when Suren lost his job or when he was getting his employment insurance. During this time, Suba managed to get a job. She felt upset for Suren as he couldn’t find a suitable job after countless attempts. But both continued their lives thinking that Suren will find a job soon.
She often came late at nights due to heavy workload. She didn’t like the way her mother-in-law revealed when she came home but it continued that way. In order to avoid the mysterious silence of her in-law she started coming home late on purpose doing all the high authority work.
Suren’s mother pressured him to ask her “where she’s been all night?”
Suren observed stance.
The couple started arguing for petty things due to frustration caused by low income. He started to develop an inferiority complex that he was living at her expense. But he digested that feeling because he could not avoid the tense situation. Maybe to lighten up the situation, the family physician gave them good news.
“Really doctor?” he said surprised.
“Yes, you are going to be a father. My best wishes” he said and confirmed Suba’s pregnancy.
He felt happy for her to attain motherhood. Although they were not financially sound, he thought that a child might help them overcome the situation by giving them some happiness.
“Do we need a child in this circumstance?” asked Suba when they were alone, he kept quiet.
He knew that he was not capable of answering her. But he felt that since his mother was there, it would be helpful to raise the child. But Suba could not absorb the good news. She thought this would be an addition burden to the financial situation. She didn’t have the heart to destroy the fetus. When they have given life to so she carried it.
Suba was glaring and looked more beautiful as she passed on the stages of her pregnancy.
“Congratulations, Mr.Suren. It’s a baby girl” the doctor shook his hands.
The nurse got the child after a bath. He looked at his mother’s face thinking how he would blossom after looking at the new baby.
What’s this? Why is mother’s face going pale instead of fresh happiness and enthusiasm?
Is it because it’s a baby girl?
“Hey mum, how is your granddaughter?” he asked as he approached her.
The mother gave the child to him and sat in the chair holding her head.
“What mum? What happened?” Suren asked shocked.
“My head is aching. I am not able to bear it.”
He felt that his mother was hiding something from him.
He saw the child’s face in bright light.
“What’s this?” he said in a reflex and looked at his mum.
“Maybe the child has been exchanged.”
How? How is this possible? He was totally surprised.
The child’s skin, eyelashes everything white…!
When his friends called him “
He laid the child next to Suba and looked at her. She was still semi-conscious.
“Suba…. Suba! Did you see the child?” he was tensed.
She opened her eyes and saw the child. Soon she lost her consciousness again.
When the doctor saw him tense, he gave some details about the child.
Although Suba was semi-conscious, she was able to hear what the doctor said.
“Mister Suren! Since you are the child’s father, you have to approach this problem carefully. You needn’t worry for the white complexion of the child. Sometimes a child is born that way. This is called ‘albino’. Here, there is a change in the color of the skin and the hair. When these people look at sunlight, their eyes seem to be glared. As such there is no other problem. They will be healthy. There is nothing to fear. There is no need to worry too. Take it easy!” The doctor patted him on his back.
Since his mother had already left home, he went home late.
When he went inside, he could hear his mother speaking to someone over the telephone….
“It seems he is a white boss, and his name is Jack or Jackson. When she said that he wanted her to do overtime I had a hunch. When she started spending time there and coming home late, I thought that something strange was up. What I feared had happened. How can I live here with such a disgrace and how can I face people?”
Whom is mother talking to? Who can it be on the other side? Gossiping!
She continued “To look at, she seems to be very calm and simple, but she deceived everybody. We cannot believe such pitiful faces.”
He heard all the bad mouthing about Suba.
“What is this, Mum? Why are you jumping into conclusions now?” Suren asked her as she was speaking over the phone.
“What is still left to happen? First of all are you a man, who can’t control her actions? Every night she comes home late, no wonder the baby is white…whom can I tell this to?” his mother said banging her head.
“Mum, please be patient. The doctor told me everything in detail. This is due to the lack of melanin pigment in some children. Our bad time, this child got it.”
“Is it your child? Don’t bluff. Will anybody say that the child looks like you? How can they say? The eyes, the complexion doesn’t resemble yours.”
“Mom keeps quiet. You are also a mother. We are already hear broken and please don’t speak like this. Don’t view everything with a suspicious eye. Don’t scold Suba this way.”
“Oh, if I talk about Suba, you get mad. Did you ask her why she was coming home late daily? Why do you get annoyed if I tell the truth? Will the people keep quiet after looking at the child? I am not going to live with her in this house hereafter. Please show me a way and do whatever you like.”
“Stop it Mum, that’s enough. I think you are making up stories. I am not the great Lord Rama[1] to ask her to perform AgniPariksha[2]” he shouted at his mother and went to bed slamming the door, behind him.
The hatred of his mother towards Suba is being revealed slowly. The kith and kin that were fond of gossiping have got a topic now. That’s more than enough for them. They will try their best to divide a unified family.
He couldn’t sleep for a long time and so he was thinking about a solution to this problem.
Suba was in deep sleep when he entered her room. They gave her drips. He was looking at her face as he was sitting next to her. Even in her sleep she seemed innocent expressing the virtues of motherhood.
“Is mother talking ill of this innocent face?”, he thought to himself
“Have you come? What are you thinking?” he was startled hearing Suba’s voice.
“Please hold the child” she forwarded her baby to him.
His heart was disturbed. He pretended as if he didn’t hear her.
“My boss Jackson had come here. He gave me this flower basket and a gift. He came to see me amidst his very busy schedule. He’s great.”
“He is great?”
He felt he was hit hard on his head.
There is an earthquake going on at home. How can I tell that to her?
“Why do you look so dull?” she asked not knowing the situation.
He nodded as if there was nothing going on. But still his face revealed the fact.
“Are you worried because the child is born this way?”
He nodded no to that question.
“What can the child do for the sin we had committed? The child is pitiful” she said and hugged her child close to her heart.
“No. Our relatives will talk ill of the child. That’s the reason…” he said without completing the sentence.
“That’s the reason…what?” she saw him with great interest.
“I think we should go to some other place where nobody can see us.”
He thought maybe it would be better for Suba to be away from his mother for some time.
She saw him with awe.
“Really?” she said unbelievably.
“Yes, Suba. I think it would be better for us to remain aloof from all our relatives for a year or two.”
“Will you get wild if I say something?”
“No, Suba. It’s good to hear your opinion too. Tell me.”
“My boss is getting a transfer next month. He said he was going to be the head of a new branch. So…”
“So…?” he hurried before she completed.
“He asked me if I could go with him? Shall we go?”
6
Tomorrow the boy’s family is coming to meet her. It is a love marriage; the girl’s parents don’t approve of the marriage. Her mother is worried, “Usha, your dad doesn’t like this at all. Did you think about how it affects us? You’re of a different religion, you will have problems making the marriage work.
Usha tells her “Mom, I came to an informed decision, I love Mano only. He has an education and a good job. I Like his good qualities, his manners and the fact that he is friendly to everyone. What else would you want in a husband?”
Her mother says “we raised you with too much love. You have a good education and a good job. You fell in love at work and now you won’t listen to any of our advice. It is our duty to advice, but you are going to make up your own mind.”
Usha and Mano get engaged. They have a Christian wedding in the morning at a church and the Hindu one in the afternoon in temple. Usha becomes Mrs. Mano. After the wedding Usha wants to stay with her parents for a week. Usha’s parents make an effort to do what the couple wants and what they like. The food is good, but Mano didn’t enjoy it. He is a non-vegetarian and therefore does not relish the vegetarian dishes. He is also homesick. Mano tells them that he is surprised that they manage with only vegetarian dishes. The next day he tells her that he wants to leave. Usha asks “why? You said that we would wait a week.”
He tells her, “I am homesick, and I miss my mother. I want to leave tomorrow.” Silent, Usha notices the changes in him. It takes two days to travel to Mano’s mother’s house. There is a reception for them with garlands, friends and his relations, who all wished them well. Mano got a job transfer so that he could live with his mother. Usha quiet’s her job to be with him and couldn’t find a job in town.
The next morning Usha got up, showered, dressed with a pottu on her forehead and went to wake her sleeping husband with a cup of coffee. Mano put the coffee on the table and hugged her. He said, “you look pretty today,” staring deeply into her eyes and she bowed her head in embarrassment. Mano lifted her face “I am going to tell you something.” Usha looked at him inquiringly. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but my mother doesn’t like pottu. Take it off.”
Usha looked at him in shock. She wanted to ask if his mom said it, but for politeness sake she didn’t. Instead she said, “if you don’t like it then, I’ll take if off.” She wipes away the pottu.
Mano asks, “are you mad at me?” She shrugs and laughs it off as nothing and hides her tears. On Friday, they went shopping. As they were returning, they passed a temple and Usha stopped to pray. Mano said, “Usha, do you want to go to the temple.”
She looked at him in disbelief; “what do you mean?”
Mano answers, “You pray and come. I’ll wait here.” Usha didn’t feel right going in alone. She expected him to ask to join her and was disappointed when he didn’t. As she walked around the temple to pray, she cried. They both returned home silent. At the entryway Mano broke the silence. “Usha your pottu,” he said pointedly. She understood before he could finish and wipes off the pottu. Mano tells her, “The flowers in your hair, my mother doesn’t like it.” Usha thinks to herself, ‘mum, mum’, is that all you think about. Usha throws away the flowers to please and says nothing. Mano says “thank-you Usha, you are so understanding.” But he didn’t understand her silence. Usha tossed and turned in bed, there was something on her mind. She thinks to herself, that minor things should not be magnified. Tomorrow is Sunday; she must get up before him and get ready so that she can go with him to church to show him co-operation. But Usha was in a deep sleep, so he just woke her to tell her that he was leaving and said goodbye. Before she could tell him that she wanted to go with him, his mum called him and said they were going to be late. The scooter had only one seat and so only his mother could go with him.
Next day It was Mano’s birthday; Usha wakes him up with coffee and wishes him happy birthday. After he leaves for work, she makes him his favourite foods. She thought once he had cut the cake, wished him happy birthday, then they could go out for a movie and to the beach together. They could spend some time quality time alone. She heard Mano arrive on his scooter. She ran to the door to greet him. Mano calls from the scooter “Mum, are you ready?” without coming in. His mother answers I have been ready for a while let’s go. Mano says, “Usha, we are going to church, make sure you lock the door.” They returned around Ten PM and Usha set the table with no comment. “We have already eaten, and we brought some food for you too, here eat.” He puts the bag on the table.
“No. I am no longer hungry. I toiled hard in the kitchen to make everything you like, including a cake and you haven’t even asked me why?”
“I told you, I already ate. Put those in the fridge and eat this.”
“Did I work so hard to put it in the fridge?” Usha asks disappointedly.
“What do you want me to do? If you don’t want to put it in the fridge then throw it out” Mano answered angrily. She felt as if she had been slapped in the face and she couldn’t stay silent anymore.
In a high voice Usha asked, “in this house don’t I have any rights.”
“That’s why I brought food for you.”
“You give food to the pet dog too.”
“What happened? Why are you yelling? Speak softly because if mum hears it what would she think?
“For everything its mum, mum, don’t you know anything else. I worked hard all day cooking your favourite food, dreaming about cutting the cake, singing happy birthday and going out together and in one sentence you crushed all my dreams. You haven’t even appreciated my efforts” Usha said angrily.
“Listen you won’t come to church with me and the scooter only seats one person and as usual I took my mum. I was late and bought food for you. What’s wrong with that?”
“While you were out didn’t it occur to you that you have a wife waiting for you at home or did you forget about me, like a servant girl.”
Mano says, “if you want to think that way go ahead.” He went into the bedroom slamming the door. He thought that everything would be okay in the morning. In the morning there was coffee waiting, but no ‘good morning’ greeting. Mano woke to the smell of coffee, thinking Usha was still mad, he showered and dressed for work. He then ate and left for work without searching for her or talking to her.”
What kind of life is this, where the wife is not allowed to wear a pottu or put flowers on her hair, a life without prayer, and no rights or as a wife? It is a type of slavery. Her belief that they could understand each other and have a give and take relationship seemed like a dream now. Is love an illusion? Do all love marriages end this way?
Her body started to tremble; Usha felt this huge pain and her heart broked and started sobbing. Usha grabbed a paper and pen and started writing:
Dear Mano,
For all these days I was holding out hope that we would build our relationship on understanding. I left everything behind for you, but you didn’t even acknowledge me or support me. I am heart broken by your ungratefulness. However, one day, if you can understand me and my love, shed a tear for me. I am leaving you, don’t try to find me. – love Usha.
As she folded the letter, she hears the doorbell. Who is it? She wonders. She was shocked when she opened the doorbell. “Mano, what are you doing here at this time?” For her surprise, he came in and said,
“I forgot and important file and came to collect it. What’s that letter? Is it for your parents?” Mano grabbed the letter from Usha.
At first, he couldn’t grasp what he was reading so he sat and read it again. What is this, his eyes, filled with tears, he asked her. Usha couldn’t explain herself; her emotion took over her and started crying. Mano got up slowly and sat her down in a chair. “Don’t upset yourself over this, we promised loved and understood each other when we got married. But first we must have an understanding between ourselves. I am for you and you are for me. My mum is old, its my duty keeps her company. It’s a son’s obligation to a mother. When you become a mother, you will understand. Life is not easy, life is not idealism, it is a reality and can’t be solved by running away from problems.” While Mano talked, Usha was silent.
Mano continued, “You aren’t to blame for this alone, the fault was mine too. I didn’t really address your concerns and failed to look from your point of view. I assumed we understood each other, and I failed to address your concerns.” Usha looked at him in disbelief. Mano wiped her tears and said, “I will take this file to the office and take the rest of the day off and come.”
However, by the time Mano finished his work it was 3 PM. On the way home he went into the saree store to buy Usha, a saree in her favourite colour, magenta. He also bought a silk verti for himself, for when she goes to temple, he could go with her. He was satisfied that he had made amends for his wrong doings. When he got home the door was locked, Mano’s mother had gone to her brother’s house and he knew she wouldn’t be back until tomorrow. Usha usually runs to open the door for him, what happened to her today?
The next-door neighbour’s child gave him the house key, Aunty, said to give this key to you, she has gone out.”
Mano’s heart started beating, he entered the house and sat on the sofa. He thought of the house without Usha and it brought tears to his eyes. A second later he heard the door open behind him, he turned to see, it was Usha.
Mano ran and hugged her saying,” Your home.”
Usha started to cry at the sight of his tears “Mano, why are you crying like a child. I know how much you like non- vegetarian, so I went to buy chicken for you.”
Mano said, “This is tears of happiness, we will first eat, and then go out and enjoy the day, I’ll eat the chicken today, because you bought it but, from now on I will be a vegetarian.”
Real love is when two people completely understand and respect each other. A love like that never fails. Usha takes Mano’s hand and they both join hands together with a hope of a new and a happy beginning of their marriage.
7
ONE FATHER, ONE DAUGHTER, ONE LETTER.
Kuru Aravinthan
Two letters had arrived. One was the much-anticipated DNA report. The other letter was with a familiar beautiful handwriting. He opened the letter which was from the Ooty convent.
The letter was from his fifteen-year-old daughter. He read it with great interest.
“Dear Father,
I don’t know if I will be able to call you ‘father’ hereafter. But before you receive the DNA report, I would like to express something to you personally.
Father means affection. Father means love. You mean everything to me. Maybe it was mother’s negligence, meanness and selfishness that brought me closer to you than to her.
How could you shiver me with affection and love me and keep your heart like a stone? I never thought that the misunderstandings between you and mother would lead to a divorce. I didn’t consider it seriously though my mother yelled that I was not your biological daughter. But when you looked at me and raised the question “Whether I am your daughter?” it hurt me enormously.
I don’t know why parents refuse to understand what’s going on in a child’s heart. I am frightened to think about my future. I am a question mark in everyone’s eyes. This incident has had a severe impact in my emotions.
Father, I have a final request for you. If what my mother said was true, the DNA report will prove it. In that same moment, I will be someone else to you. Before that happens, I want to meet you for one last time. I want to lean over your shoulders and cry out loud from my heart. Will you come to see me at least once without being stubborn?”
He was very upset after reading the letter. The child is being punished for the unthinkable acts of parents. What mistake did he commit to deserve a divorce?
A wife who was very obedient in the early years of marriage turned uncontrollable as time went by. The frivolous fights which started on petty incident continued even after the birth of the baby.
He had money. She had her youth and beauty. It was an arrange marriage, according to her parent’s wishes and not hers. He was not aware of this until now. She wanted to hide her family circumstances and, so she led her life with him.
“Did this marriage take place without your consent?”
“Yes, nobody paid heed to my wishes as a girl. Looking at your wealth, my father dumped my love and my desires.” She said bursting into tears.
“Love?” he asked surprisingly
“Yes, love. I was close with my lover thinking that we would get married one day. But providence had brought you in between us. I can’t bear this agony any longer. At least now, please grant me freedom by giving me a divorce.
“So, how did you share your life with me for such a long time?”
“Only my body was living with you, not my soul. I cannot cheat myself and live with you any longer. I want freedom from this hell.”
“If there is going to be separation, nobody can stop it. But then what about our daughter?” he asked.
“Our daughter? Who said she is yours?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked in total shock.
“Yes, you are not the biological father of Divya.”
“Hey look, don’t play with our lives.”
“I am not playing. But it is the truth and absolute truth.”
He felt the earth open up and swallow him.
“So, Divya is not my daughter?” he asked in disbelief.
“No…”
“You are lying to annoy me. Just get out of here if you want to be separated. But please do not torture me this way.”
“So now, you want me to prove that Divya is not your daughter, Is that so?”
“Oh, God! It is unbearable please.” He said with pain.
“I will prove it once and for all.” She said angrily.
It seems as though the hearts of people are going to be torn apart with these kinds of betrayal. She planned this in order to insult him. She forced Divya to undergo the DNA tests during her holidays.
He decided to visit Divya and see her at the convent.
Divya was happy to see him at her hostel in the visitor’s room. She managed to ask him “Did you get my letter?”
“I got it.”
“Did you get the DNA report?”
“Yes, I got that too.”
“Has it come already?”
Her face was saddened, and she wanted to know about the results. “I thought so when I saw you were standing drooped. You must be knowing the truth now.”
“Yes, I know.”
“So, what my mother had said is all true?”
“No, your mother lied. She does not want to live with me. Just to get a divorce from me, she humiliated me like this.”
“Dad, what are you talking about?”
“I saw the DNA report. You are my daughter without any doubt.”
“Really…?” she screamed with joy.
“Whatever the world says, you are my daughter.”
“Daddy!” She went running into him huge and crying out her tears sobbing loud. She wanted to cry her heart out.
“Don’t cry my darling.” He wiped her tears away with all his love. She stopped crying and looked at him.
“I won’t cry anymore; I have a father.” She held his hands and laughed with great joy.
He returned home from his daughters. As soon as he entered, he took the DNA report and tore it into pieces without even opening it. He felt relieved. To achieve this serenity, the cost he paid for it was enormous. He signed the divorce papers sent by his wife saying, ‘Totally accepted’. His wife said that she would not reveal the results of the report to her daughter as their personal agreement. The court might take some time for to approve their divorce but for Divya it is eternal happiness.
8
After her shower, Subadra got dressed taking care of her hair, her make-up, she took the files from her suitcase and was ready to leave.
“I am going”, she said abruptly.
“Where? To your Mum’s house?” asked Suresh.
She stared at him. Her bright smile had disappeared. There was stubbornness in her words.
“Why should I go to my Mum’s house?”
“Where to then?”
“I am going to job hunting.”
“A job...?”, he laughed in a funny tone that implied whether she could handle it. She raged in fury.
“Why, do you think women are too weak to succeed in anything?”
Suresh was silent.
An unpleasant conversation had taken place between them the previous day. When She asked him whether the pancakes tasted good?
He replied, “They are okay.”
“I did it with so much of love for you. But you don’t seem to appreciate anything I do for you”, she said.
“What kind of an appreciation do you want for this? Suba, look, you are an Electrical Engineer. Not only that you are a major in Electronics. If you had done something related to your field and asked me “how did I do?”, I would have applauded you. But you are not interested in working. I have told you several times, but you don’t seem to listen. You are wasting all your time in the kitchen. A paid cook can do this job. But can a cook do the job of an Electrical Engineer?”
“Why are you trying to argue with me? I just asked you if the pancakes were good. Why are you holding something in your heart and coming out with something else? Just let it out of your heart, please.”
“A job cut out for a horse cannot be performed by a donkey. That’s what I am trying to tell you.”
“So, you are calling me a donkey.” Her face turned red with tears, running down her rosy cheeks.
That night Suresh was just rolling in his bed t. He couldn’t sleep. He heard Suba sobbing. “Why did I behave like that?” I don’t have any problem with my job or finance. I love to eat whatever Suba cooks. But she takes cooking as a gigantic task and that’s what makes me sad. It’s been a year since we got married. I’ve never hurt her in this way so far. I know words hurt. But I behaved in such way with a purpose. Suba has a lot of self-esteem. So, I knew that it would affect her pride.
When Suresh returned home from work, his in-laws had come over. What is the reason for their sudden arrival? Probably Suba asked them to pay a visit. He just stood outside listening to their conversation.
“Families are this way. There is no family without any misunderstanding. You cannot make some silly arguments into a big quarrel. You have to adjust” – He heard his mother-in-law advising her daughter. She was pretty much justified in her talk.
“My son-in-law should know my reputation. How can he ever think of hurting my daughter? He should know that I am not going to keep quiet. Is he arrogant because of his excessive education? Let me teach him a lesson showing that even my daughter is educated”—He heard his father-in-law shouting.
“What are you talking? I thought you would console your daughter, but you are just adding fuel to her fire,” said the mother-in-law.
“You don’t have to dance according to his views, Subadra. He is probably saying that you are living here for free. I am there for you, my daughter. You are welcome anytime to our house. That is your house.”
“No, dad, I will manage here somehow. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I don’t know; it’s left to you. My doors are always open for you. You can come there whenever you like.”
Suba has a lot of self-esteem. She went on job hunting and was successful. First day of work, a production machine was out of order. As it was an imported machine, it could only be fixed with imported spare parts. But Suba, along with her colleagues, managed to repair the machine. She received her first salary along with a huge bonus. She wanted to celebrate it with her parents.
At dinner, her father asked, “Suba, do you like the job?”
“I like it very much, dad. This is a challenging job. I feel bad that I had been sitting at home with all thrills.”
“You have used this opportunity to enhance your skills and to get a recognition. Not only that, you have saved the company a lot of money by solving the problem yourself and not by getting help from overseas. If all the educated girls display their skills in this manner, the country can make wonders.”
Subadra felt elated.
“Okay, where is my son-in-law?”
“I don’t know. Nowadays he comes late”, she said bitterly.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I never ask. A husband who cannot feed his wife although he earns a lot of money shouldn’t be cared for. I don’t care when he comes and leaves”, she said, annoyingly.
“Don’t talk that way. Your husband is a good man. All this is to be blamed on me”, said the father.
“Dad...! What are you talking?”
“Yes, my dear. Your husband had visited me one day. He did not like you to be a slave for him in the kitchen. Beating up one’s wife is not exploitation… To lock up a woman’s intelligence, skill and talent is also a kind of exploitation. The developed countries continue to advance a lot because of a generous contribution from women. He said that he was responsible for that you were wasting your talent, skills and intelligence. It seems that he had asked you to get a job several times, but you denied it. That is the reason he came to me asking for a solution to reveal your skills and talents.
“What did you say, dad?”
“My daughter has a lot of self-esteem although she is a home-wife now… I said just say something that would hurt her self-esteem and pride. That’s why he behaved that way.”
Suba could not say anything now. She started feeling guilty for the way she behaved with her husband.
She went home and anxiously waited for her husband reached home in the evening, she greeted him pleasantly and treated him with a great dinner.
He was surprised at her behavior on that day.
He remembered that day when he hurt her whilst she served the pancakes.
He smiled at her and said, “Won’t you ask me how dinner is today, Suba?”
“No, I don’t want to ask, because I know the answer for that question”, she said playfully.
“No, the dinner is really good. Show me your hands, I want to kiss them”, he said winking his eye.
“Da, today’s dinner was made by my mother”, she said fooling him.
Suresh is feeling came rushing back for Suba.
9
Kuru Aravinthan
Suseela closed her store at the Newport Center Mall in New Jersey and was heading out when the clouds began to grow darker and it started snowing heavily. The wind chill was very high, and it was biting cold. All the cars in the parking lot were covered with snow.
Suseela began to clean her car and scraped all the snow. As she drove slowly, she noticed a white car parked in front.
The owner of the car seemed distressed and was moving around trying to open the door. Suseela thought that the gentleman needed some help and got out of her car.
“Excuse me, is everything ok? Do you need some help?”
He looked at her. He was fully covered in his jacket like an Eskimo. A big cap covered his head. “No, I can take care of it”, he said briskly.
“Are you having some trouble with the doors?”
He hesitated and replied, “Yes.”
She tried to pull open each door of the car. But, she couldn’t.
“Don’t you have the key?” she asked.
“If I had that, I would have opened it.”
“Ch..! I thought may be the car doors were frozen in the snow. Have you locked the key inside the car?”
“Yes.” He replied a little embarrassed.
“What are you going to do now?” asked Suseela.
“Do you have a cellular phone; please can I make a call. AAA can assist with this situation.”
“It will take a long time for them to come in this heavy snow. If you wait for them, you will get frozen.”
“I can’t think of anything else to do?” He couldn’t help the situation.
“There is one way out”, she said.
“What?”
“Is your house close by?”
“Not too close. Why?”
“Do you have a spare set of keys for the car?”
“Yes, I do.” he replied with a ray of hope.
“I will drive you to your house, you can get the keys and I will drive you back to your car.”
“No, I don’t want to bother you.”
“It’s no trouble. If we cannot help each other, then what is the purpose of this human life? Please, let me help you. She opened the door for him without waiting for his reply. He began giving directions to his house.
The car stopped in front of a beautiful bungalow inside the University. She was taken by surprise.
“This…this is Professor Ramanathan’s bungalow?”
“Yes,” he nodded.
“Then you are?”
He got off the car and removed his cap.
“My God, It’s you, Sir? Do you remember me? I am Suseela.”
“Suseela” he tried to recall his memory.
“Which year? Did you study under me?”
She told about an incident known to both of them.
“Do you remember sir, once when the class was over, I asked you, what is the secret of your youth? And you replied that you go for jogging every morning and are careful with your food, and you maintain good habits.”
When I said “Oh, is that all”, everyone started laughing.
“Now, I remember… Chatter box Suseela, right?”— He was laughing nostalgically.
Being his student, getting married, becoming a mother, losing her husband in a car accident due to drunken driving, looking after his store for living etc., … were explained to the Professor.
Professor Ramanathan invited Suseela into his house.
“Have a seat. What would you like to have? Coffee?” he said
“No Sir, it’s okay.”
“Just excuse me for a whilst I get the keys. Browse through these books. Make yourself at home. I will be back.”
Suseela started to look around the hall. She understood that the house was lacking a woman’s touch.
She arranged all the books and newspapers that were lying around. She took the tablecloth that was on the floor and tied it over the table and kept a vase on too. She tidied the whole place in five minutes.
“Wow, is this my house?” Ramanathan’s eyes sparkled as he was bringing some coffee. She felt very happy at his appreciation.
“Each thing should be kept in its place to enhance its beauty. Only then it would be beautiful and will command respect?”, she said.
He suddenly looked at her. “Well, I just forgot everything when my daughter left me. I have no interest in this life”, he said with a huge sigh.
The death of his beloved wife, the elopement of his only daughter with somebody not liking the strict lifestyle, his disinterest in life etc., … he was discussing all these things openly with Suseela.
Then both of them went with another key to open the car. Ramanathan thanked Suseela many times and then departed.
From there on whenever he had spare time, Ramanathan went to Suseela’s store. He started to come out of his loneliness as if he was free from an entrapment.
He began teaching Nila, Suseela’s eighteen-year-old daughter over the weekends on Suseela’s request. One day when he was teaching calculus, an unexpected incident took place. He noticed that Nila was concentrating on him rather than on the math.
“What are you thinking about?”
“You are so handsome”, she said abruptly.
He could not believe what he heard and was shocked.
“What sir, did you get scared?” she asked with a cheeky smile.
“Why are you not concentrating on your studies?” he said sternly.
“Am I not allowed to say that you are handsome?” she replied lowering her tone of voice.
He hesitated and said, “You can, but not during your study time.”
“Ok. Sir” and she pulled her self-close to him and whispered, ‘I love you’ and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheeks.
He was taken back by surprise. He felt as if his daughter came running to him and gave him a kiss. But he controlled himself and said, “Do you like me?”
“No, I love you” she said strongly.
“Love? What are you talking about? Do you know the meaning of true love? I have a daughter older than you. You should not blabber like this. I am like your father.”
“Father? You? Who said?”
Before he could search for a reply, she ran into her room and slammed the door.
Later that day he went into Suseela’s store, and said “Your daughter is also a chatter box like you”
He told her what had happened that morning. Suseela was awestruck.
Suseela felt embarrassed by her daughter’s action.
“She is a girl without a father. That is the reason why she is confused about love and affection,” she said in a apologizing tone.
“Don’t worry, Suseela. This is a normal occurring infatuation at this age. She didn’t know who to say to. She’ll mature as she grows older.”
“I don’t think so; I know her stubbornness. I should not let this confusion to grow in her. I need your help for that, will you help me?” Suseela asked with hesitation.
“Me… how? Shall I go and talk to her?”
“She is not listening to what you say. There is only one way, that is Will you marry me?”
“Suseela, what are you talking?” Ramanathan was shocked.” Are you out of your mind?” he asked.
“No, even I could do with a permanent support. You are the most suitable person for that. I began to understand that since I started to acquaint with you. Moreover, my daughter needs an affectionate father and I knew that you will be a good father to her. She has developed a wrong opinion in her heart about you. Only you can put it right” she said with a clear mind.
“How?” he asked confused.
“‘You, my father?’ she asked you… that is the reason. Hereafter, you have to prove that you are her father. Will you do this for me?” she literally begged him.
Later on, that day, when Suseela got home she rang the doorbell, Nila came running to open the door. When she saw her mother and Ramanathan with flowers and garlands, she was startled for a moment.
“Nila, this is your father from now on.” Nila understood her mother just with her expression.
Rest of the day none of them spoke. The house was dampened with silence.
Nila suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, she felt her mother hugging her and sleeping with her.
“Mum, why are you here?”
“Why are you surprised? I always sleep with you.”
“What’s this Mum? How long are you going to sleep with me?” she was stammering as she spoke.
“From now on, I want to sleep on my own. You should refer to your room now. I will be fine. Thanks Mum.”
Suseela was too disturbed with her daughter’s reaction. Nila took her arms and pushed her into Ramanathan’s room and shut the door behind her.
Next morning, when Nila woke up, Suseela was brewing coffee for everyone.
“Good morning Nila, here’s your coffee.”
“Thanks Mum. Where is my father?”
“Father?” Suseela couldn’t believe her ears.
“He is reading the newspaper in the living room.”
“Have you given his coffee?”
“No.”
“Let me give it to him” she took the coffee and went to her father.
“Good morning Dad! have some coffee.” She said with affection.
When Ramanathan heard this. He thought that many days have passed by with no one calling him ‘Dad’. He was very happy when Nila called him ‘Dad’ with a lot of love. He took his coffee from Nila and kept it on the table.
“Won’t you even thank me?” asked Nila.
His silence hurt her very much. “Okay, you need not tell me thanks. Just say that you forgive me. That’s enough” she took his hands. Tears began running down her cherry cheeks.
“What happened? Why are you crying Nile?” he asked her buffed.
“I hurt your feelings, Dad. I don’t know if my decision was good or bad. But the method I took to succeed with my plans was surely wrong. Please forgive me.”
“I don’t understand. What decision? What plan?” Ramanathan asked even more confused.
“After my father died, my mother only lived for me. She controlled all her likes and desires and was living like a stone. Thirty-eight years is not a big age. When I asked her to remarry several times, she refused. Both you and my mum got along very well. So, I thought that you are the right match for her. To make it happen, I had to act in a small play. I didn’t know a better way to make my mom agree. Forgive me dad, please.”
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. I have seen mothers searching a groom for their daughters. But I am seeing a girl who has performed the marriage of her mother for the first time. I am proud to have a daughter like you, you are great.” Professor Ramanathan caressed his daughter and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
10
Kuru Aravinthan
Niruja changed her outfit after playing tennis and came out to see Nimal. He was waiting for someone. As she passed him, she said “Bye”. Niruja continued to see him even after she got into her car. He is her doubles partner in tennis. He had a charming personality. Although she was a novice to the game, he saw the talent in her and asked her to be his partner in mixed doubles matches.
He was very famous and, so she was taken by surprise when he approached her to be his partner. She was so thrilled that she agreed immediately. For the past two weeks, she has been practicing with him. He wore expensive outfits and drove a Mercedes Benz, made her feel a step lower. But then she felt that she was very lucky to partner Nimal.
She was born in a middle-class family, and always had this sort of inferiority complex. She was made to think so because of her financial situation. She had won many awards in her country for the tennis tournament games, at school. Once she was married, she came to settle here with lots of dreams. Her husband’s part-time job and night shifts made her life dull. In order to overcome that depression, she started playing tennis again. She parked her car in front of him,
“Do you want a lift, Nimal?” she asked. He was hesitant for a second. She understood that and…
“Come, I shall drop you”, she said and opened the door. “If you don’t mind, thank you”, Nimal said and sat in the front and gave her directions to his house. He said that his friend took his car. When they reached the house he said, “Please come in for a coffee.” She did not expect an invitation, but she replied,
“I will come some other day.”
“Okay, it’s left to you. Maybe this house is not lucky enough to have you today.” His face went pale. She felt bad and half-heartedly said,
“Okay, I’ll come.”
“How many of you live in this house?” she asked as she stepped in.
“Wife and kids” he said, “Have a seat” he showed the sofa. All the wealth and glory were convincingly visible around the house.
“Is there anybody around?”
“All of them have gone to Miami, Florida for summer vacation” he said and
“What do you like to have?” he asked.
“Thank you, I am fine.”
“No, no, please have something. Coke or juice?” he forced.
“Okay, anything.”
“Anything?” he gave a strange stare.
She blushed and said, “Coke”. He served the coke with floating ice cubes. As she was sipping the coke she asked, “How many children?”
“One boy and one girl. We are two, so two for us. Look at the album” he said showing the album.
“Only two!” she asked smiling.
“My wife said that’s enough.”
When he was taking the album from the shelf, something like particles of dust fell into his eyes. He was rubbing his eyes while sitting on the sofa.
“What, what happened to you?” she came close to him hurriedly. “Something fell into my eyes”, he said. “Wait” she said and blew some air into his eyes. “Is it okay now?” she asked. He said “No”. She blew into his eyes again and said, “Open your eyes.” He opened his eyes and said, “I am okay.” It was like fire when she touched his face. Her warm breath was soothing to his eyes.
When she was looking at the album, she felt jealous about his wife. Isn’t this woman lucky? Niruja cannot afford to even think of Miami. If not Miami, what about this kind of a house! Her thoughts wondered around many places and came back with a huge sigh.
“I have some tennis demo cassettes. Shall we watch them?”
“I would love to see them, but it’s time already. I shall come some other day.” When she was to leave, Nimal came in front of her.
“You look sweet” he said and gave a kiss on her cheeks and said “Bye” to her. She was shocked. She did not expect this and, so she looked at him in silence. What is wrong in giving a kiss when departing? What is wrong in accepting this kind of culture when we are accepting so many other things living in this country? These were the things she used to argue with her husband. But when she personally came across a situation of being kissed by another man, she could not take it. She understood that it was not a casual kiss, but it meant something. She suddenly felt the fear and the tension. What is this? Is he taking my weakness to his advantage? She didn’t like to stand there even for a moment, so she left immediately.
She parked her car in the parking garage and went inside. She waited for the elevator and took the sixth floor and opened her door. Her husband was sleeping making loud snores. She got annoyed. Her seven-year old daughter was sitting on the table and writing something. She went close to her and patted her head.
“Did you have food?”
“Yes, father served me.”
“What are you writing?”
“Project. Our teacher asked us to draw a picture of the spider and bring it back.”
“When do you have to submit?”
“Next week.”
She did the dishes. Her husband was getting ready to go to his night shift. She served him dinner and then coffee. Through this is the routine at that one-bedroom apartment but today she felt frustrated, “What is this kind of life?” She thought of being a slave, an article from a magazine came to her mind where girls have to pay money to buy a groom and also serve him like a slave. ‘What happiness did he give me since I got married to him?’. She was neither happy mentally nor physically. He could not give her any kind of happiness. When she got married it was like ‘Desire sixty days, but enjoyment thirty days. That is, you long for something so bad but when you get it, it seems not to last very long. After the birth of their daughter, everything was at zero. She could not get any kind of enjoyment from her husband. Few days ago, she even hinted it to her husband. “Don’t you have anything else to think about other than this?” he said to shut her up.
The neighbor next door does counsel. “I understand your problem. You can tell it to me without any fear” she felt as if she could tell everything to her neighbor. She asked her neighbor for a solution. “As far as I know, it is better for a family woman to adjust with her husband. I am just doing that. But in this country, there is freedom for women. You women enjoy the liberty that we didn’t have those days in that country. That is the reason nobody can stop what you want to do. You can do whatever you want. Your husband also does not have the right to stop you from doing what you like.
“You can do anything in this country” these words encouraged her. She couldn’t sleep that night. Why doesn’t a husband understand his wife’s feelings? Her eyes were full of tears. Every petty thing resulted in arguments and quarrels almost every day. The neighbor was just adding fuel to fire when given an opportunity.
“Why did you marry me?”
“But you married me after you developed a liking for me, right?”
“Had I known I am going to get such kind of a life; I wouldn’t have got married to you. I am fed up of everything.”
“What kind of a life? What is wrong with your life now?”
“You cheated me pretending to be rich. Who wants this cheap lifestyle?”
“Why, don’t you like it?”
“What is there to like? Do you have a house, or do you have money? What should I like? Should I like this sleepy head?”
She didn’t feel like getting up the next morning. Her heart was burnt resulting in a fever of the body. The previous day incident was hurting her badly. How dare? How could he have the guts to give me a kiss? Did I give him a lot of liberty? I don’t want his acquaintance anymore. I should be a good wife. She controlled her passions.
She didn’t go for the tennis practice that day. She was teaching a lesson about the Spider to her daughter.
“Only the female spiders spin the web. They don’t get trapped in their web.
They get trapped in between their prey.”
The telephone bell rang. She said ‘Hello’. The same person on the other side, whom she wanted to ignore …
“Nimal!”
“Sorry, I cannot come for practice today.”
“Why?”
What should she reply? She has to tell something.
“The…car has mechanical problems.”
She said confusingly.
“That’s okay. I shall come and pick you up.”
“No, thank you.”
“Be ready. I will be there in half an hour.”
“No”, but he hung up the telephone.
Why is he forcing me? She looked inside the room. Her husband was sleeping. She really got annoyed. Who is this guy to tell me what to do? He is taking advantage of me because of my congeniality. Was I wrong in keeping quiet when he kissed me? What is he thinking about me? Let him come. I shall give him good today.
She switched on the fan and fell on her bed. Whatever he says, I am not going for practice today. She controlled her anger. Suddenly she got scared. She went downstairs with the fear that he might come up. He came by his Mercedes and opened the door for her.
“No, I am not coming. You carry on.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know why.”
“We have a match on Saturday. How can we win without practicing?”
He raised his voice when he said that. She got into the car with least interest. He drove the car towards the tennis ground without talking anything.
She looked at him and,
“Did your wife come back?” she asked.
“No.”
“Do we…have to have this practice today?”
“Why, are you not willing to do it? Are you not feeling well?”
She looked at him and nodded. He didn’t understand whether it was a yes or a no.
“I am sorry.”
“That’s okay. We can practice tomorrow. I will drop you at your home.” Nimal reversed the car.
“Stop it…No” she said hastily.
“Why?” he asked.
“No, not there. We can go to your house”, she whispered.
11
Kuru Aravinthan
The steel door swings open with a screech and should have woken up ‘Nadesu. Nadesu’ tried fervently to open his eyes. His delicate, weak eyes were unable to accustom themselves to the foreign light which seeped through the metal doors. Unable to bare the piercing light, Nadesu’s eyelids gently closed over.
Even though his eyes had closed over, his ears remained awake and responded to the approaching thud of boots in silence. As the stomping of the boots became louder, the uncertainty and fear associated with the boots caused his heart to pound rapidly.
“GET UP!!!” yelled the soldier as he violently kicked the withered man under his rib cage. With immense pain, he managed to use his hands for balance and slowly got up. As he stood up, he immediately felt the pain in his joints. He couldn’t exactly identify where the pain stemmed from after receiving beating upon beating for a number of years. He struggled to remain upright as his swollen feet buckled beneath him. With his head held low, he was hesitant to see who had come and instead pictured a soldier.
“Come out you dog!!!” the soldier screamed with disgust and he was able to easily recognize the soldier’s voice. Whenever he used to see this soldier, he would be scowling at someone using informal/slang Tamil. “There hasn’t been a time where I have seen this soldier speak politely or utter pleasant, comforting words to anyone” he remembered.
He staggered out of the cell and looked around nervously before following the soldier’s footsteps. Many steel doors were opened and shut before he finally reached an office where he was shoved into a room where the senior officer remained seated. Ever since he was moved to this jail, he began to feel scared and was rather reluctant to look up at anyone.
“You are Nadesan, right?” the senior officer asked.
He had not been addressed by that name for a number of years. He took some time to familiarize himself with the name before looking into the direction from where the voice had echoed from. Information and files regarding him were spread out before the official. The papers inside the folders struggled restlessly under the air of the fan just as he had suffered.
As the official spoke, he simply nodded his head silently and responded with his head hung and eyes glued to the floor.
“You are free. Put the signature and you are free to go.” The official said simply.
He was shocked. Free? Me?
He was even more startled as he had never even requested to be freed. He knew that many Tamil youngsters who had signed to be freed never reached home safely. He itself had been made to do and witness such heinous crimes. In order to ensure that the perpetrators were not caught many corpses were burnt instead of being buried.
The soldiers gave him a bag and Nadesan signed a document before closely examining the contents of the bag. Inside were the Vetti Salwa set that he had worn twenty-two years ago when he was arrested. Like his memories, his shirt too was crumbled and had faded. He first dusted off the shirt before trying it on. The shirt was very loose. His scruffy beard and messy hair reminded him of a street beggar.
Like a goat taken for holy sacrifice, he followed the army officer sheepishly until they reached the outskirts of the compound. He stared at the detention center who had robbed him of his youth with vengeance and with a desire to live life he walked away quickly.
Where do I go now? Who do I go to now?
A new problem had now arisen; one that had not been a problem when he was in the detention center. His stomach stirred as he had not had anything to eat from morning. If I was still inside, I would have at least got one meal of kanji a day he pondered. As his physical and mental state began to tire, he sat at the base of a tree to rest.
The sky began to darken with clusters of clouds forming here and there and a burst of cold air swept through. He began to wonder whether drinking something warm would give him the strength to carry on. He spotted a half consumed, squashed cigarette in a pit in the distance. There was still some life left in the remaining cigarette. He brushed the dirt and dust particles off the used cigarette and pursed his lips tightly over the cigarette and took one long drag. With one puff itself, he was able to experience the warmth spread to all parts of his body. Using the strength that the cigarette gave him, he stumbled awkwardly across the road.
Not knowing where to go, he halfheartedly followed the direction in which his feet were taking him. The imprint of heavy boots made the soil swell up. With every step he took, the pain within the joints became even more unbearable. The strength in the feet began to weaken as if he had been walking on end for many years. He pleaded with passersby to give him a lift and eventually managed to reach his home – the land he was born on many years ago.
In the twenty-two years he had been away, the village had changed completely. Small shops on the side of the street had now flourished and became well established stores. He remained astonished at the changes his village had undergone. He recalled the moment he was captured by the Army. Unable to see his child crying with hunger, he disregarded the Emergency Period Act and continued to carefully navigate the back streets of the village to reach the small shop on the side of the road to buy milk powder.
Once found by the army, they piled a number of accusations upon him, rounded a number of them up and herded them away inhumanely as if they were livestock. From one detention center to the next, they shifted him around and played a game of hide and seek with his worried family. Without money and without the help of senior officials, the family were unable to free him, and they remained helpless for twenty-two years.
The elderly man wearing shabby, oval reading glasses sat peacefully under the tree opposite the small shop and seemed to be deeply intrigued by the newspaper he was reading. After talking to many people along the way, he was finally identified by this elderly man. The elderly man carefully depicted the arduous journey that Nadesan’s wife had undergone; searching for him from one camp to another and emotionally narrated how she had pleaded with the guards to know whether he was alive.
Nadesan eagerly asked the elderly man about the whereabouts of his family. To which the elderly man hesitantly replied that his wife had died many years back and informed him that his daughter was raised by her grandmother and was now married and lived in the very same village.
“We didn’t even expect that you would return Nadesu” said the old man.
The elderly man led Nadesu to a small, isolated hut where his daughter lived. In front of the hut was a stray dog that lay asleep. Flies circled the dog incessantly; pestered by the fly’s torture, the dog lifted its head gently, attempted to frighten them with a loud grunt and went back to sleep. Nadesu was comforted that the dog had not barked at him.
“Sarasu” yelled the elderly man from outside the hut.
A woman in her mid-twenties appeared in the entrance of the hut. Holding on to the end of her sari was a five-year-old child. Nadesu stared at the woman with amazement. He made a quick observation that the girl who stood in front of him clearly resembled his wife twenty-two years ago.
“Sarasu, do you know who this is?” She looked at Nadesu intently and stated that she didn’t.
“This is your father, Nadesu.” It appeared that this fact had not sunken in yet. According to her reaction, it was obvious to Nadesu that she was not in the emotional or mental state to accept him. She glared at Nadesu suspiciously.
“My father’s dead” she blandly stated. Unable to accept someone new into her life her words become entangled.
“No, Sarasu. We wrongly thought a man who went missing was dead and did all the rituals for him. However, for many years he has been kept in different detention centers and jails and now that there is peace in this country, they have decided to release him” the elderly man informed Sarasu.
Unable to accept this new relation into her life, she shook her head abruptly.
“I have lived all these years without the presence of my father and do not know the meaning of Appa. After grandma passed away, it was very difficult to eat one proper meal. I have to do menial, odd jobs just to raise my child and now you bring a new relation, telling me that he is my father. What can I do?” She lamented.
“I already have enough burdens. Oh Lord. I cannot bare anymore.” She continued to whine.
The mere thought of how many respectable families had been shattered, their dreams and futures stolen by politicians that dictated this country made Nadesu want to weep loudly. Struck with immense grief, he even forgot the pain that had troubled him and began to worry about what his future entailed.
“What happened to your grandmother?” asked the elderly man.
“She passed away last year.” Sarasu claimed.
“Your husband?”
“It’s been three years. He said he would go to the shop to buy something for the child and he never came back.
Like himself and many others who were kidnapped by the military, his son in law’s name too would be written in the missing book somewhere. Taking into consideration the state of the country, Nadesu was doubtful whether his son in law was even alive.
“He is your dad after all Sarasu. Give him a small portion of your meal or the leftovers. Nadesu will never be a burden for you.” The elder reassured Sarasu.
The dreaming dog woke with a jolt, stretched its limbs and as if to remind those around that he was present let out a short series of barks. Without acknowledging Nadesu’s presence, the dog quickly pounced on the chicken next door and ran away with the chicken. The flies that surrounded the dog now began to pester Nadesu.
12
WHOSE CHILD?
Kuru Aravinthan
While I was driving on a one-way road in
I came to know through my friends that giving a lift to unknown women is against the law in this country. I am aware the kind of punishment given if caught. So, I got scared of her as soon as I saw her. That is the reason I have been so careful not to get involved in such incidents. So, I tried to ignore her as if I was heading for an important job.
When I passed her, I saw that she was in an advance state of pregnancy. She was holding her abdomen with one hand not able to bear the pain from her contractions.
Am I doing the right thing? How can I run away like this when a pregnant woman is begging for help? Can I pretend to be heartless? Being a father of a child, I just thought what if my wife would have been in the same situation?
My conscience pricked me and so my vehicle went backwards. She thanked me with her two hands although she was in a lot of pain. If I kept quiet now without helping her, it would be a disgrace to the mankind, so I immediately opened the rear door of the car. She sat inside and asked me to take her to the nearest hospital.
While I was driving her to the hospital, my thoughts were all on the letter I received from my wife. That letter triggered my spirits to be helpful too.
She wrote that one of my friends had come and helped her when she was in labor in pain. It was raining heavily that night and was quite dark too. It was my friend who helped her and introduced to me when you came here for the holidays. Thank God that had got to her hospital on time and it was a safe delivery. Or else it would have been hazardous to her life. She has named our daughter Priya according to my liking.
As I rushed into the hospital, the nurses who saw the situation started working fast. They took the lady directly to the delivery unit. The nurse who attended her came to me worried.
“Are you the person who brought the lady here?” she said.
“Yes” I replied.
“Why did you delay so much?”
How can I tell my situation to her?
But she was not to leave me.
She took my name, address, etc., and went inside.
Is it a difficult delivery?
I waited patiently. The nurse came back again after some time. Her face was disturbed.
“Please sign this”, she said.
“Sign? Why should I sign?”
“A baby boy.”
“Oh, good” I said.
“The child is okay. But the mother is not very sound.”
“So, why should I sign?”
“Because you are the child’s father.”
I was shocked to death.
“Child’s father?” Me? No” I cried.
But she refused to believe me.
They didn’t agree to whatever I said. The mother lost consciousness during labor and died after delivering the baby.
It seems that the mother told the nurse that I was the child’s father when she was asked to sign the papers at the delivery unit.
What did the nurse ask? What did this woman reply?
I didn’t understand what happened. But when I started thinking about it, I know that something was wrong.
Have I fallen into a trap called the law in this country?
According to the Shariya law of this country, if a person has an illegal affair with a woman, the consequences are really bad.
I have seen the hand of a man cut off and hung up for the offence of robbery on a Friday. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I even though why not go back to my own country after that incident.
I thought about the punishment that I could get if I am convicted.
Eighty whips have to be taken in a public place in front of everybody. Or else, the people will hit you with stones. Or the head will be chopped in front of everybody.
What would happen if my wife comes to know about this? I was ashamed to think about it.
I could have lived happily with my family even in a poor hut. But who could forgo the greed for money? There are so many families who come to Arab countries and live a terrible life. Will I be one amongst them?
When I was coming to this country one of my friends held my hands in the airport and said,
“Be careful with your fingers.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Even for the smallest mistake, they cut your fingers off. When people come back, they are not sure if they’ll have all the ten fingers.”
I took it as a joke, when my friend said so, but today? I felt scared about the same thing.
Fingers? Head, it’s the head that will be chopped off. My mind was running wild.
Time has run out. How will I face my wife now?
How can I look at my wife? First of all, can I get out of this problem?
I hired a lawyer and spent a lot of money to prove that there is no relationship between the woman and me. Why should I be punished for something that I haven’t done?
My body was trembling on the day of the court hearing.
They performed a DNA fingerprinting test to prove that the child was not mine. I felt that science and technology would surely help me out. Mistakes can be committed anywhere. Even an innocent person can be punished. I seriously prayed God for the judgment to be in my favor.
The judge started to read the verdict.
“…. The laboratory tests have proved that the accused is not the father of this child, moreover…”
I felt that I was alive again.
“Thank you, God, you didn’t leave me in trouble.”
I bowed to the judge for I felt that God manifested himself as the judge. I had no witnesses to prove that I was innocent, but science helped me out as a witness and that amazed me. Science and technology should make leaps and bounds so that innocent people like me can be saved.
The judge started again.
“… Also, when this man’s other tests were examined, it revealed that his sperm count was very less, and his sperms are very weak and so he could never have become a father. This further proves him to be acquitted…”
My hands that were bowing the judge came down slowly.
Then…Priya?
13
(Gloriosa Superba, a flower which blooms during November in bright reds and yellows. After full bloom the flower will remain fresh and change colors of the petals from green to yellow, then reddish yellow to scarlet, fading to red.)
When we entered the hallway, I saw traditional oil lamps were lit up inside near the door. A moment of silence was observed in memory of all those who lost their lives during the civil war in my home country.
We stood in silence as the song of remembrance played; the flames reminded me of my past. In 1983 July when we were in Colombo, communal riots destroyed my family which changed my life.
This kind of commemoration has been banned in my home country. The government denies our communities’ the basic human right to mourn the family members we lost during the war in public. Luckily, we don’t face these kinds of obstacles in Canada. The symbol of the Tamil communities Remembrance Day is the kanthal flower or Karthigaipoo, a flower which blooms during November in bright reds and yellows.
My 8-year-old daughter who was born in Canada came to these ceremonies with me and asked with inquisitive what it was for.
“Because these young people gave up their lives for us to continue to live with self-respect”, I explained her.
“Dad this happened in your home country”, she asked.
“Yes, we suffered a lot, I can’t forget those days”.
Crowds walked by, weeping, and leaving Kanthal flowers on top of the photos of those who passed away. My daughter slowly grabbed some pedals and laid them by the nearest memorial.
“Dad, will you take me there?” suddenly she asked.
“Why...?”
“I would like to see where our family comes from”
My daughter was begging me to take her to my homeland, but we were almost seven thousand miles away. Even though I wanted to take her back to the country I was born in, I hesitated because of my experience during the civil war.
All these years I couldn’t go back as the fighting still raged on between the military and rebel forces.
“It is not safe to go back” my one friend told me. He always watched the news and political changes as they occurred in that country.
Suddenly, he called me last week and told me the fighting was over between the rebels and military. Tourists could now visit, and previous citizens once again return. I discussed this matter with my wife and booked a flight back home during my daughter’s holidays. Because of the war there were little few western goods and luxuries, we packed absolutely everything we needed.
When the flight took off from Pearson International Airport my eyes began to fill with tears. I couldn’t forget this country which gave me my life back. This is the country which welcomes people who really struggled and suffered during their lifetime. It was only when I came here that I felt like I was a human being again. Back home, when we would hear planes or loud noises, we would hide in our bunkers. We didn’t have to worry here. Now, I am proud to be a Canadian because this country provides me with everything, including a peaceful mind.
When the flight landed in Bandaranaike International Airport I was in a panic. I hired a taxi and drove to my hometown, Jaffna. I could see the damage made by both sides during the civil war. I saw among damaged tanks and trucks, a cow near the roadside with only three legs. Its fourth leg looked to be lost from a landmine. Even though they said the war was over, the war which swallowed me during my young age and blackened my dreams could not be forgotten.
We pass Elephant Pass checkpoint, which was controlled by the rebels during the war. Now government forces were standing guard with AK-47’s. They check our passport and asked us some questions, whether we have any connection with rebels. They were satisfied with our answers and let us to go.
As we continued to drive towards Jaffna we passed many abandoned houses damaged ceilings from the aerial bombings. By the side of the roads, cemeteries laid flattened and destroyed. We passed the Maviddapuram Murugan Hindu Temple through Kankesanturai road and proceed north. We came to a stop at the Kankesanturai cement factory army check point. There was a large barrier blocking the road.
“This is the end, you can’t proceed further”, the army officer said.
“My house is there, further north, I just want to visit”, I replied.
“Sorry, that area is designated as a high security zone, we can’t allow you to go there”, he explained.
“High security zone, how come...?” I screamed.
I was disappointed. Everybody said that the country was back to normal. If so, why won’t they allow me to go and see the house where I was born?
“Sorry sir, without permission from the Chief Officer we won’t allow you to go any further” he elaborated.
I was mad. I came all the way here to see my hometown. How could they stop me? This was a home where we lived for a long time. Not only me, but my father, and my grandfather, and my great grandfather, and so on.
My daughter’s face was saddened, because she too wanted to see her grandparent’s home. There was no point in arguing with these soldiers, so I thought of where else we could go. Suddenly, I remembered my mother’s place, where my sister ‘family lives which was nearby called Sandilipay. I told my driver to turn around and drive south west.
When we reach my mother’s house, my sister comes out to welcome us. We had lunch and visited our neighbors place. When I walk by the side of her house, there is a house that looks so familiar it makes me stop. This is where my cousin Meera lived. Even though I was scared there might be land mines, I stepped inside anxiously. The walls were badly damaged with bullet holes and there was no roof. No one had been here for a while, there were weeds growing from cracks in the floor.
During school holidays in Colombo I used to visit to my mother’s home in Sandilipay. This is the house where we would normally meet and play when we were kids. Inside, there was a storeroom where Meera would hide and surprise. I still remember what happened the last time she did this.
The storeroom door was unlocked; I push the door slowly and entered inside. Because this was a typical village house, the storeroom had no windows, so it was dark inside. I closed my eyes for a second so that they could adjust to the darkness. I searched for the fruits and found a basket full of mangos. I pulled some out to determine whether they were ripe. Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a girl laughing.
I turned and looked; Meera was sitting in a bench in the dark. Even though I was shocked, I managed to ask,
‘Meera! Why are you sitting here in the dark?’
‘No reason”, she said.
‘Are you not scared to sit in the dark?’
‘No, I’m ok!’ She said.
‘We are going to have our breakfast, why don’t you come and join us.’
‘No, I am not allowed to move from here’
‘Why, are you grounded? Shall I bring some fruits for you?’
‘No thanks, I am not supposed to eat normal food’
‘Why, you don’t like Mangos?’
‘I like Mangos’
‘Really...? Then why don’t you come and play with us’
‘No, not right now’
I moved near her and asked her ‘why?’
‘Don’t come near to me!’
She got panicked and crossed her arms in front of me. For some reason she was a little hesitant as she looked at me.
Why was she upset? I stared at her and suddenly she started to cry. I didn’t want to sit with her anymore, so I ran away.
When I was running, I remembered what happened the day before while we were playing hide and seek.
We both went and hid under the bed in the bedroom. Suddenly the person who was searching for us came inside the room. We were quiet, and she stayed close to me. The person who was searching for us stretched his arm underneath the bed but couldn’t reach us and left the room. I felt her body heat because she was so close to me.
‘Take your hand off’ she said. Till that time, I didn’t realize that my hand was on her solder. Suddenly she started weeping without telling me why?
I was scared, so I got up and ran and told her mother that she was crying for no reason.
Her mother came and asked her the reason. She didn’t respond so her mother took her directly to the washroom. I didn’t know what happened after that. Mother said that she was not a kid anymore and won’t come out to play with us.
When a teenage girl is separated from the boys like this, you know what happened to her.
A week had passed, and it was time to go back to Colombo for school. I got ready and went Meera’s to tell her goodbye. She was in her bed reading a story book. When I went near her, she looked at my face with a lot of enthusiasm.
‘Hi Meera, I am leaving today, and I came to say goodbye’
She didn’t say anything but got up and looked at me with a smile.
I said bye to her and turned to leave, but she came near to me and pulled me, hugged me, and gave me a sweet kiss. And in my ears whispered, ‘I love you’. Her face was filled with joy and sadness.
I was thrilled and melted at her smile because I didn’t expect these kinds of words from her. Her smiling face had all along been glowing in front of my eyes. I didn’t know whether she really loved me or if it was just youthful infatuation?
Meera ‘s nickname was Kanthal, a flower from our hometown that would also bloom in November, the same month she was born. I went back to Colombo with those dear memories and went back to focusing on the school year ahead.
Two years later, I wanted to go back to Sandilipay and meet Meera. While arranging my train ticket back home, I heard the news that Meera had left from Sandilipay and joined the rebels. It was a shock to me, if she really loved me, then why did she go? Maybe she loved our homeland more than she loved me.
After that, our family never had any contact with her. We didn’t know where she stayed or what she did, as the rebels always lived in secrecy. Things kept getting worse and eventually I fled to Canada to escape the war. I got married in Canada and shortly after had my first daughter. After the final war we never heard about Meera, whether she was alive or not.
Suddenly, I felt somebody touch my shoulder.
I slowly turned to see my daughter was there.
‘Dad, are you crying?’ She asked.
I managed to wipe my tears. My daughter doesn’t know why I am crying. This is the house where I met Meera first. In the abounded storeroom I could see some weeds and bushes. Among those bushes, I could also see a bright Kanthal flower which made me to cry again.
O’ Meera, where are you?
14 Story -9-11
Kuru Aravinthan
She opened, when he knocked at the apartment door and waited outside.
“You are...?” queried her in a sorrowful tone.
She looked much the same as the photo given to him by her husband.
Her hair was disheveled; face little swollen and reddish, she appeared to have been crying quite a lot.
“I am Michael, last of the friends to have seen your husband Richard” said he, as a way of introduction.
She invited him into the house with a hope that at least he would bring some good news about her husband.
He was reluctant to tell her about what happened about her husband as he knew that her kith and kin went about looking for him everywhere calling out his name.
She was at the same time was nervously keen to know from him as to what has happened to her husband.
“It is almost three days since we started looking for him and so far, we have not got any good news and I am gradually losing hope about seeing him again.
If he had been alive, he would have definitely contacted me for we loved each other so much, hence please tell me what has happened. I am in a state of mind to hear the worst.”
Though she said that she was prepared to bear the worst, it was very obvious that she was anticipating that he would say ‘Your husband is alive’.
He was wondering whether the message he was going to convey to her would have her breakdown like the ear, which yearned for sweet lovely music hearing treacherous thunder.
However, he has no other go. He has to tell her what happened to her husband.
She listened intensively every word that he uttered.
Then was a loud cracking sound of a thunder and soon the high-rise tower was in fire. Before he could realize what has happened, his office mates yelled ‘Mike fire, run... run...!’ as they were running out of the building.
Could it be an earthquake...!
Looking through the window of the office located in the 88th floor, he was able to see heavy cloud of dark smoke peeping into the office through the stairway.
What could be this; can it be a bomb blast?
There is no chance of a bomb blast because this building is located in a highly protected area.
We have been instructed by the fire ambulance services not to use the elevator if the building is on fire.
There is no time to think as to what has happened since the smoke was getting denser and denser.
‘Get out of the building and save your life’ said my inner voice, Hence I started running along the staircase with other friends.
While we were going down, I heard somebody yelling ‘a plane crashed on to our building’.
Nobody knew why and how?
It could have been a trainee plane.
Still it is a mystery how I climbed down so many floors so quickly!
I come out panting and looked up to see some people sought up but having no way to come down jumping out of window to save their lives. It was really hard to think whether they will survive, when they fell from such a height.
‘O God! What do these poor people do?’
The building started cracking and falling down in shambles. A small piece of the craze hit my head and I fell to the ground unconscious.
People were running here and there, trying to save their lives and some of them trampled on me.
I felt the warmth of drops of warm water on my chest. Yes, I have come back to consciousness. I opened my eyes to see him kneeling over my body, holding my hand and checking my pulses.
Seeing me gain conscious, his eyes lightened up.
He was also injured. He wiped the blood on my forehead with his hand and lifted the broken piece of the window frame, lying over my leg. He made me sit erect.
I looked at him; he was wearing the uniform of a fire crew. He was dark in complexion and his curly black hair was just visible beyond the edge of his helmet.
His thick lips gradually widened into a broad smile. Patting on my back, he said “Don’t worry man, you are alright...!” were encouraging words.
‘Where am I.? Am I alive...?’ I pinched myself to make sure I am alive.
I looked more like a street beggar as even my white skin was coated with the mud on the ground.
He introduced himself as ‘Richard’ and tried his best to brink me back to normal.
I would wonder as how he could be that balanced headed even at this time of atrocity.
He looked great. He helped me to walk to the roadside. I had nothing but admiration for him, for the wonderful friendly smile which I never had seen in my life.
I started talking to him.
I asked him why he selected the risky job of a fire fighter.
“You know” He said, “I loved this job. My grand pa, then my father now I am. Three generations have been doing this job. Hope my son also will continue to do this job” he said very confidently.
He called a taxi and put me into the taxi and said to me “I am on duty, have to go back soon. Better go and see the doctor” with the same broad smile and waved me ‘goodbye!’
I could only admire his commitment to his job.
Sobbing relentless and with the lips wavering almost she asked me whether he had told me anything before I left.
Perhaps she was keen to know what her husband told me.
Her reddish eyes, swelling cheeks and unattended hair made me feel very unpleasant.
I knew she can’t bear this any longer. I felt so pity on her.
“I am sorry your husband didn’t tell me anything more!” were my words.
She felt dejected that her husband didn’t say anything to me and sat with sorrowful demeanor.
I have got to tell you what I purposely avoided telling Mrs. Richard or else my head will burst.
He asked me “will you do me a favor...?”
I said “yes...!”
He pulled out his purse and showed me a photograph of a woman.
“This is my wife’s picture. I have the telephone number and the address on it. Could you please hand it over if possible?”
“Definitely” I said. If I don’t do it, I am not a human being at all.
“I have got to go for my duty, please tell her I love her dearly.”
He gave me the picture and started walking.
“Do you like this job” I asked him again.
“Yes, this is the job my grandfather did, and then my father, now it’s my turn and hope my son will follow me”
I was really exhilarated to see such an individual who adored his profession without even expecting a reply from me. He is started walking briskly towards the building.
I have no words to call him and stop him from going towards the building. May be his duty consciousness would have taken upper hand over his emotions.
Suddenly, I started wondering whether my whole body shirked, or the entire building came down like a thunderbolt.
There was very heavy cloud of smoke and dust and the collapsing building engulfed right in front of my eye.
He knew it was going to happen inspire of he went there and sought his end.
He has built a death tomb for himself. He is born for self-sacrifices.
I hid this information from her is because I found her to be advance state of pregnancy.
If I tell her it might completely up set, her and fearing it may lead to abortion.
If this child is not born that grate man’s wish that his son would continue to save the fire brigade will not come to.
15 Harambi
Kuru Aravinthan
That message heard me so bad.
I was freeze for a movement when I look at the screen. Because yesterday only in the Facebook I click ‘Like’ and send a ‘Happy birthday’ note to Harambi.
Now these days we could able to send greeting message to anybody because of the Facebook. Because of 17th Birthday they attached Harambi’s photo in the Facebook and ask us to say like that photo. They also posted Harambie’s last years ‘Sweet Sixteen’ photos in that Facebook. No body can’t forget, who already passed their sweet sixteen, like Harambi also wasn’t forget his sixteenth Birthday. This is the age where everybody passes very difficult period. When I look at the Haramb’s face on the Facebook, I felt some kind of sorrow or sadness in his face. Maybe homesick or left his family back in the nature place alone and sitting here.
How long Harambi is in this Jail I don’t know, but I when I saw his childish face, I knew Harambi didn’t do anything wrong to suffer like this. There may be another reason for them to brink Harambi to this open prison, maybe Harambi was left behind his family. Anyway, the first impression about Harambi made me to get attracted him.
Within a minute everything gets upside down, Harambi’s fate may have decided at that movement. That kid may be only four years old, entered with his parents inside the boundary. He saw flow of running water below ten to fifteen feet. When he saw the running water he wanted to play in that water. When mother refused to allow him to go, he sat down on the floor. When mother turned other side, suddenly he ran and jump inside the water.
Within a minute the visitors got panic and started shouting. Because of the deep the kid banged his leg and got heard. Suddenly that incident happened when he was unconscious. At that time two of the female gorillas came near to the injured boy and looked at him. Harambi chased them away and moved near the boy and protected him from other gorillas. The boy got concuss and open his eyes, front of him he saw Harambi was standing like a giant. He got scared and started crying loudly. When he was crying the crowd outside also shouted at Harambi. Harambi got scared because he thought that crowd may come and attack the boy.
When Harambi looked up, that crowed was uneasy and made loud noise. ‘If I want to protect the boy from this violent crowed, I should move the boy from this place’ Harambi Thought. As an animal he could only think, how he protects his babies like that he wanted to protect that boy. When Harambi thinks this way, Human thought different way. Sometime the zoo officers thought anytime Harambi may harm the child. But Harambi never try to attack or harm the child, instead Harambi always try to protect the boy. What Harambi did was he took the child and make the child to sit next to him.
Harambi may be weight about 400 Lbs, and about five and a half feet toll. When he walks look likes funny like a doll. This boy jumped into the water to escape from that crowd who makes loud noise. Harambi thought at any cost immediately he should protect that boy from that crowd, so he bends and hold the hand of that boy and pull him from the water. He craps the kids’ hand and moves him to the safe place like a gorilla, because as an animal Harambi doesn’t know how to hold the child like a human mother. In that difficult situation Harambi couldn’t do anything other than this. He drags the child through the water and kept that child in that Connor.
Now the crowd make more noise and shouted more violent.
‘Shoot that nasty animal’ suddenly somebody shouted from the crowd. It made some others in the crowd also shout like that.
‘To shoot or no..!’ the zookeepers mind struck to make a quick decision.
The crowed continuously shouted at him to shoot that gorilla and force him to do so.
‘If something happened to the kid, then the whole world will blame me. As an animal I cannot rely on these kinds of gorillas. For the kid’s safety I cannot waste the time, better soot him.’ Zookeepers finger touch the trigger.
Even though we say that the human descended from apes, Harambi doesn’t know why that man aiming the gun at him.
Harambi dint do any harm to the boy even though the bullet suddenly strikes through his forehead. ‘Sorry my son, I couldn’t protect you from these nasty crowd’ with tears Harambi looked at that boy politely. Next moment every thig shout down and Harambi’s body fell in the ground. Crowed was satisfied and moved from that place with Harambi’s death. They knew that Harambi want to talk back, and that’s what they want it.
‘We couldn’t control Harambi, but we want to protect that child that’s why we shot Harambi.’ Later authorities wrote a report like this and left. Not only that ‘we are so sad about that incident’ they made an entry in the Facebook also.
16 Hibernation
Kuru Aravinthan
The professor looked outside after closing the book he was reading. The snowstorm which is part and parcel of this country was blowing with fierceness and pricked his ears like needles.
Professor Ramakrishnan, who also went by ‘Ram’, was invited to a meeting to discuss the effects of climate change. If you expected Ram to be a senior man over his fifties, you’d be utterly surprised. Instead, Ram is in his thirties, is young and attractive, and may have married not too long ago. He was asked to attend this meeting as he just submitted some initial research on the topic of human hibernation which was to be the focal point of the meeting. As head of the committee for human hibernation, Ram’s presence was crucial to its success.
Today’s meeting was focused on coming to a final decision on whether to move from experiment to full scale rollout effective immediately or to stop all of the work.
The main motivation for this project was to see whether human beings could hibernate for at least four months without any negative long-term impact. During the meeting, Ram summarized his results and there was wholehearted support from top security officials, politicians, and economists. They decided to move forward to full scale rollout.
During the Winter season most parts of his country will be covered with snow and become motionless and only this small town will see activity throughout the season. Previously, during the Winter months, to make these long and cold days livable, houses, workplaces, and transport facilities were heated, and special clothing, footwear, sports and recreational facilities were designed to make this season more enjoyable. This was subsidized by the government at an enormous cost. But due to unforeseen changes in the climate from the depletion of the ozone layer and environmental degradation, many calamities occurred and made life more difficult and intolerable. As a result, medical expenses and maintenance of the country’s heating system, snow removal, and other infrastructure became too expensive. The economy collapsed; this is when people started to pay attention to Ram’s research.
The hibernation project was to start in December and end in March. Due to climate change the Winter season was expected to be even longer than four months, so only a portion of the brutal weather would be avoided. Like the animals which go into hibernation during Winter, Ram explored how man also could reach the same state. Through his PhD research, he perfected the procedure after hard work and many long nights. By the time it was done, many scientific organizations and universities congratulated him with gifts and accolades.
Ram’s country was facing a major economic depression. Hence a law was enacted that all citizens except officials in the administrative and maintenance centers in each district must go into hibernation during Winter. Everyone, including their pets and animals, were made to go into hibernation during Winter and wake up during the arrival of Spring.
This arrival of Spring had a long tradition of celebration in Ram’s village. It was this celebration that sparked an interest in hibernation in the young Ram since he and is family partook in the festivities every year. Ram’s parents moved to America after getting a job there. Even though Ram was born and bred there, he was brought up to respect the traditions, customs, and cultural norms of his parents. He was also brought up with humility having watched the many obstacles his parents faced after they emigrated to this land.
At first, he started studying the process of hibernation with brown bears. He committed to a life of solitude with these animals in the densely wooded forests of the north. This project which he undertook as a hobby culminated in the intensive study of these animals and eventually led to research in the aging and longevity of humans, especially the long and arduous journey of astronauts. Ram had a grand vision that his study would help in the human race’s exploration of space.
Under normal conditions the heartbeat of brown bears is one hundred and twenty beats per minute. He found out that during hibernation it could go as low as three beats per minute. In addition, their hibernating body temperature was five to nine degrees lower than their normal body temperature. Furthermore, while hibernating, excess body fat was used to maintain critical bodily functions which often led to weight loss of fifteen to forty pounds. Hence, hibernation could not be extended for long periods, but it was possible to forgo eating with the right bodily processes. He diligently applied all of this collected research to humans and his initial experiments were promising. He proved that by injecting a concoction of chemicals into the body of humans, he could make them hibernate. He also proved that depending on the amount of the chemicals, the length of the hibernation could be reduced or prolonged.
Last year while the project was being administered to a group of subjects on an experimental basis, Ram and his assistants Mikal and Julie worked tirelessly to ensure it went smoothly. This year the project was expanded and administrators including Ram had plenty of leisure time as they only had to supervise with periodic check-ins.
Ram’s passion and focus was infectious, everyone around him became obsessed with finding a solution to their country’s economic catastrophe. As they worked tirelessly, they slowly became more distant and isolated from their friends and families. This year, Julie’s room was opposite of Ram’s and some of her other colleagues. Julie was a beautiful and sociable woman, and she was admired by everyone at the research center. Over time, she developed a soft spot for Ram and was at his beck and call.
The human brain is just like a chimpanzee’s. It changes according to one’s needs. Despite our advances in science and technology, we are still slaves to our impulses. As the experiment prolonged, Ram began to suffer from loneliness. His mind started to wonder, and he fixated on the folly of his ambitious project. His mind became distracted. He tried to suppress his natural urges but to no avail.
To be alone and way from his wife for four months felt like an eternity. He tried to keep himself busy with work, but mind wondered to unwanted imaginations. He pondered about the fate of people who live alone and away from their families for such long periods.
He casually noted that Julie and Mikal were spending their breaks conversing and laughing most of the time. At night, he dreamed of her laugh and soft smile. He tried to divert his attention to reminisce about his wife and more relaxing days with her, but it didn’t help. An alcoholic can only get intoxicated after consuming alcohol, but they can get a rush by just thinking about it. He was longing for something to quench his feelings. He wondered what happened to people under hibernation, would they find it difficult to control their unconscious sexual urges?
He began to realize that it may be possible to postpone human impulses, but they cannot be controlled.
In the cafeteria while they were having dinner, Julie was seated in front of him and was humoring him with some jokes, but Ram was absent minded and didn’t break a smile.
‘Ram, what’s wrong? Are you OK?’ Julie asked perplexingly.
‘I’m OK!’ Ram replied.
‘Feeling home sick?’ she retorted.
‘Maybe...!’ he answered with a half-smile while he fidgeted in his chair.
After dinner when they walked through the hallway, near Ram’s room, Julie said good night while she walked into her room.
He tried to sleep but he tossed and turned, so he came out of his room to go for a walk and found that Julie’s door was slightly ajar. A ray of light came out and fell on the hallway as a straight line.
‘Why was Julie’s door not closed?’ This aroused his inner feelings. He saw a moth attracted by the glow of the light fly by, hitting the door to enter inside. Ram mustered all of his might, but he could no longer suppress his feelings. He knocked on Julie’s door and entered.
Since the door was fully shut there was no ray of light to arouse suspicion. His sleepless night had made him tired, so he moved clumsily. He slowly raised Julie’s hand which was embracing him as he sat beside her.
When he crept back into the hallway, he found the moth which was uncontrollably flying towards the ray of light was lying on the ground, motionless and wingless.
Notes: For Story - 8 - Self-esteem
[1] Lord Rama was an Incarnation of the Almighty himself. He was a King and his wife was Sita.
[2] Lord Rama asks his wife to perform AgniPariksha to prove her chastity. AgniPariksha means jumping into the fire and remaining alive, protected by Agni Deva.
[.1] According to Indian myths, Arundati is the name of a star and is considered to be auspicious.
[.2] A sacred black stone is stepped over in traditional Indian marriage and then the couple are invited to see the star, Arundati in the sky.
[.3]Long ago in Indian kingdoms, the princess can pick any groom who had been invited to the kingdom to marry her and this is called Swayamwara.
[.4]In India parents pick the bride or the groom for their child and this is called an arranged marriage.
[.5]Indian marriages are performed according to the horoscopes. The horoscopes of the bride and the groom should perfectly match. Only then will the marriage take place.
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